i don't want your autopilot.

I've discovered that people don't take enough
time out of their lives
to think about what they like-
the ideas, people, places, flowers, books, colours, anything.

As an icebreaker I used to ask,
"What do you like?"
I realized it put people on the spot,
but there was no pressure to answer quickly.
(Everything else moves quickly, conversation shouldn't follow suit).

I didn't want to know about their job or if they went to school,
it's easy not to like either though you
engage
in them,
and asking in specifics narrowed the path
with which I gave the person
for their answer.

I wanted to hear it all.

After asking,
I had always received unsure glances,
questioning whether I was crazy,
or too drunk to ask something
'better'.
I'd repeat the question and get a shrug,
or funny glance
and then the conversation would move onto
alcohol or drugs or bands or inside jokes I didn't understand or how they needed to go out for a smoke or where the washroom was or sip, sip, slurp of their glass or often,
no more conversation at all.
Just a turn of the head,
from my direction
to any other one
that wouldn't ask them to do so much
self reflecting.



* google icebreaker and the top 5 results will be anything but.